MICHAEL

Fifteen years ago today, I received some very tragic news. The phone rang--I answered--it was my mother. She said, "Your Daddy has something to tell you". I knew this was something that was not so good. My Daddy NEVER talked on the phone independently of my mother. However, I was not prepared for the news I was about to receive--not in my wildest dreams. He just came right out with it. "Mike died today." WHAT? HOW? WHY? A million thoughts raced through my mind. What will Nelson and Marty do? How will they handle this? WHY, HOW? He is 17 years old. Must have been in an accident. No. He was home in his bed in the middle of the afternoon. WHAT? HOW? WHY?

Earlier that day he had come home from school. He didn't feel well. I don't want to get all the facts wrong, but basically it didn't seem to be anything of great concern. A little while later, his mom went to check on him, and he was gone. She called 911--did CPR--but from what I understand and remember, he was already gone, and nothing she would have done would have changed that. WHY? HOW?

We still don't really know the answers to those questions. The autopsy wasn't definitive. No drugs, alcohol, things that are standard to check for when someone that age dies unexpectedly. Apparantly there was a heart issue--just one of those sudden things that you hear about.

Next, I had a decision to make. I certainly wanted my brother and sister-in-law to know that I was devastated at this news--but how do you make a phone call like that? What do you say? They are in the middle of chaos and grief. Do they even want a phone call from me right now? But what if I don't call--they will think I don't care. I so wanted to be THERE. RIGHT THEN. They live in Colorado Springs, so that wasn't possible. I wanted to hug them, cry with them. Ask questions with them. I decided that I HAD to call. I won't go into all the details of the phone call--it was just hard. Hard for all of us. Hard for me to hear a mother grieving in the background, as only a mother can. But I'm so glad I did it.

Rick and I ended up flying out for the funeral. It was just too costly for the kids to go, too. They wanted to. It was all still so unreal to me. I am the CRYER of the family. I expected to be a mess. It was so unreal to me, that when I saw them, I didn't cry. I guess I just hadn't processed it yet. They attend a small little church, with a country-like atmosphere. When the music started it became real. When they sang--Our God is an Awesome God--it became real. There had been a beautiful moment the day before at the funeral home. Mike had a beautiful voice. One of his singing buddies just started singing "Amazing Grace". I think that was when it first became real. The church had a dinner for the family after the service. My brother said the most amazing prayer thanking God for Mike's life. That was VERY real. It is real NOW, as I sit here typing, still wondering, WHY, HOW? I have debated all day about whether to write about this today. Michael would have been 33 on February 23. I know his parents have wondered many times what he would be doing. What kind of man he would have grown up to be. ONE thing they know. He is with the Lord Jesus Christ. THAT is how they can face each day.

So today Mike, I pay tribute to you. You were funny. You were SO musical and talented. You had a sweet nature. I, too, wonder what kind of man you would be. But I, too, know that you are with Jesus--maybe you and your Grandmother Spires are singing together. She did love to hear you sing. We miss you and we never forget you. But--Because He lives--we can face tomorrow.

Love,
Aunt Rudie